Wednesday, August 26, 2009

The Mailbox Bandits

Later on in my teens I seemed to find way to have fun with my buddies that probably were not the best things to do. Don't get me wrong, we never did drugs or got arrested for anything. It was just when we did do something a bit on the edge getting caught was never on my mind. That's why i just about always got caught.

When i was younger I always thought how cool it was when my dad could throw a Pepsi bottle out the drivers window, all the way across the hood and hit a road sign dead on. So when I became old enough to drive it just came natural to me I guess. Now don't let me pass the blame to Pops at all. I knew exactly how bad it was and what the hell could happen to me. The only problem I had was bottles were just too easy.

One night my buddies, cousin and me were out lookin for somethin to do. We were so bored and with a bad case of small town blues. As we were riding around I finished a soda off and quickly decided to show off my skills. I threw the bottle across the car and nailed the sign. All my buddies were greatly impressed and we all decided at that moment we had found something to do. We began to search for bottles and with not much luck one of my buddies exclaimed "my Dad's got a bunch of watermelons at my house!" That was a no brainer to the rest of us so off to his house we went. Now, it just so happens that his house was just down the street from my house. We began to stuff my little Ford Escort with as many watermelons as we could with the four of us in the car. We didn't go far before we decided to try one out on an old mailbox. With the car speeding down the road I eased over close and my buddy tossed one out the window. WHAM!! The watermelon had taken the whole damn mailbox off its post. We were in awe to say the least.

I think we had hit maybe one other box and missed quite a few when we came up on a four boxes all in a row. They were on the left side of the road so I eased over to that side and hurled my melon out the window. A loud bang was heard and cheers roared through the car. We decided that it was regroup time and probably would be best to get out of our own neighborhood. We stopped on a short dirt road down from the house and picked up another one of my friend who was riding with someone else. He had decided he would like to go with us on our venture. He had no idea what was fixin to take place.

After he loaded up we headed out and decided to take the back way to a different town. As we drove down the road we had to pass the dirt road that led to my house. As we approached it we began to make out a couple of people standin by a parked truck at the end of the road. Once we got close enough to see who it was I realized it was my Mom and A man I knew from her office. I slowed down and Mom jumped in front of the car and pointed to the house in a way I will never forget. Not a word was spoken but I knew exactly what she was sayin. As we passed them and headed for the house I could overhear them talking about weather or not the man was gonna whoop my ass or not. My cousin broke the silence of the car by saying he didn't think she was too mad since she didn't say anything. I told him he was wrong, dead wrong and we were probably fixin to witness my last day on our wonderful planet.

We sat inside the livin room like criminals waitin a trial. When Mom hit the door she busted in like gangbusters. She was on my like bees on honey. She would ask me a question and I would just say I don't know. She informed me that the man was actually her best client from work and that I would be fixin his mailbox along with the rest of them. Dad was sitting there quiet as normal with the most disappointed look on his face and just kept agreeing with Mom. She finally asked me where in the world I would get such a stupid idea. Well, since we had told them nothing of the watermelon and that it was only bottles I said "well dad can hit a sign from the driver side of his truck!" Dad's eyes got big as moons and his face was overtook with shame. Mom said "See this is exactly why you don't do that kinda crap in front of him!" I felt horrible for throwin him under the bus but it did take a few of the bullets from me...lol.

We finally settled in for the night. Dad took my buddies home and they were scared to death the whole ride. I was so glad that Mom never found out that we were throwin watermelons and not bottles. I really think that helped keep me from gettin killed. However, when I awoke the next mornin I was already prepared to go fix the mailboxes. I was not prepared to find Mom and Dad sittin at the supper table with a great big bowl of watermelon that dad had scraped off the side of my car. My heart stopped beating at that moment!!

Wednesday, June 24, 2009

A Band Practice Memory!

Yes, it is true, I was in band. However, band was freakin awesome when we were in school!! We basically got to miss about twice as many days of school as normal kids. Plus, most of the girls were either in band, flag corp or majorettes!!! Not a bad thing!!

So, we would have band practice after school everyday to get ready for our field competitions. Our band director Mr. Shayman was a trip. He was a short jewish man with a quick temper. He was about as good a director as you could have. We were like one big family and he thought of us as his kids. When he did get mad, though, he would sometimes blow a gasket, turn red as a beat and scream and cuss!

Well, one day there was a director from the University of Miami to watch us perform and critic us. In class Mr. Shayman made it clear that he did not want anyone leaving after school. We were to stay around till practice started. He told us "if you leave you will be kicked out of band. Especially Wayne, Walt and Colon!

Normally we would leave as soon as the bell rang and run to the junior high then make it back just in time for practice. However, since Shayman was so serious this time we decided we might as well do it again. We would leave and be back before he ever knew we were gone anyways. what could it hurt?

The bell rang and we sprinted to my buddy Walt's awesome blue Toyota station wagon. He fired it up and we skedaddled to the junior high so Colon could see his girlfriend. Once we got there Colon got out to talk to his girlfriend, Walt got out to do whatever Walt does, and I sat in the car. Finding myself bored I began to play with the shifter and whatever I could find. Finally the time came and we had just enough time to make it back. Walt and Colon jumped back in the car. Walt turned the key to fire it up and nothing! The engine wouldn't even turn over. We began to ask everyone we could find for jumper cables till we finally found someone. With just a little time to spare we hooked up the cables and still NOTHING! We all began to panic and freak out. There was no way we could make it in time now. We began to wonder what life was goin to be like with us three dead. We were certain Shayman would kill us!

I believe we decided to run a couple blocks to my Mom's office. Maybe she could give us some insight as to what to do. We decided there that we could just wait till the next day and tell Shayman it was an emergency and then we got in a fender bender or something. However, Walt decided for some reason to bring his horn with him. It was a school issued horn and was not suppose to leave campus. Basically, we had to take it back or we would be in trouble for sure. We decided that if we drove in the back way and parked in the teacher parking lot we could sneak our way to the band room without being seen. We went back to the car to see if there was any way we could fix it. When we got there and inspected it I found that "someone" had shifted it into neutral and that's why it wouldn't start!!

We began our journey to the band room trying to be as unseen as possible. When we reached the band room Walt put his horn up and we were fixing to leave when a runner (junior high helper) came in. He said he had seen us and came to check it out. He told us nobody else had seen us and he promised to not say a word. We thanked him and beat it to the car. Once we got to the car and got gone we were relieve to say the least. As we drove back to Mom's office Colon decided to chime in with "I don't think we will be in that much trouble cause I left Shayman a note to explain it!" Mine and Walt's heart both stopped beating! We were back to being dead men walking!

The next day when we faced our fears Shayman must have been in a good mood. He decided to let us off by apologizing in person to the band, drill team, majorettes, the director from Miami! He also give us about an hour of his deepest thoughts of the situation. He called us every name I could think of and a few I hadn't heard of but use to this day! We promised we learned our lesson and by golly we did!! Till the next practice!!!

Tuesday, April 28, 2009

Pepe'!

Ole Pepe' was a Chihuahua that we inherited when Grandma passed. He was small in size but made up for it with his temper. One minute he would be your best buddy and the next he would be on ya like a buzz saw. He was definitely a lot of fun to have around.

My family had rented a home just outside of our town that was way out in the woods. It was just a short jaunt from the house down to the river. Me and Dad would walk down there every few days and fish off the bank. Most of the time Pepe' would follow along on our heels.

One day while we were walkin along I told Pepe' he was in for a long walk today because we were gonna walk for quite a ways. We had been walkin and fishin on and off for a couple of hours when suddenly I noticed Pepe' was no where to be found. Me and Dad both called and called for him but he never came back. He was definitely gone! At that time Dad said exactly what I was thinking "A gator might have got him!" I began to get a very heavy feeling in my heart and tears started to well up in my eye. I would not except the fact that a gator could have gotten him. I hadn't even seen a gator anywhere around us. So, I began to search frantically through the woods. Suddenly I heard a noise coming from above me. That's when I seen it. There on its nest was a huge Osprey and he was rippin and tearin at some kind of small animal. Right then I knew Pepe' had met his fate and was destined to become lunch to the huge bird. I began to cry at the loss of such a great family pet. He had been through so much in his life that I couldn't bare to think he went out like this. Let alone the fact that I should have been responsible enough to keep a keen eye out for him. I mean, I for one definitely know that an Osprey eats rabbits and other small animals. The more I thought about it the harder I would cry and Dad was doing his best not to cry and just console me!

I decided that the big bird was not goin to eat all of my dog. I would have some of him left to bury. I would seek revenge and bring death to the cold blooded bird. As I marched with haste back towards the house through the woods Dad asked what I was goin to do. I told him I was goin back to get the shotgun and blast that Damn bird and the rest of Pepe' out of the nest. He didn't say a word after that. If he did I sure couldn't hear him over my crying. I could hardly breath every time the thought of what happened would come to mind. After what seemed like forever I finally reached the backyard to the house. I began to pick up the pace. The closer I got to the house the faster I was running. I sprinted around the house to the front door and to my disbelief there in all his glory was Pepe'. That was probably the only time in my life that Ive ever had thoughts of killing a dog. Of course my Dad found it to be one of the most hilarious things he had ever seen. I fell to my knees and began to clutch onto Pepe and pet him. What a day!!

Thursday, April 23, 2009

Three Wheeler!!

After weeks of begging to Mom about gettin us a three wheeler, she finally caved in. Me and Dad were stoked! That Saturday we went and bought a brand new Honda 185s. It was awesome. Once we got it home we rode it around the yard a few times until Mom got upset because it was tearing up the grass. The next day was to be our first outing to the sand dunes with it and I couldn't wait.

The next morning we were loaded up and ready to go. Mom made sure to remind us of the deal that she made with us. The deal was that if either of us got hurt on the three wheeler that it would be gone. We assured her we would be very careful and headed out the door.

Me and Dad took turns riding up and down the sand dunes. We were having an absolute blast on the thing. The next time it was my turn I decided to race another kid down the dirt road. I was winning of course when we came to a turn in the road. I was worried a vehicle might be coming the other way so I locked the brakes up. The three wheeler must of been worried too because it decided to leave the road all together. I hit a massive load of dirt just off the side of the road, flipped the bike end over end landing sprawled out in the middle of the road. My shoulder was hurting so bad I couldn't ride back so the other kid went back for Dad. Dad loaded the bike up in the truck and we headed home for the day. My collar bone was pointed up like a tee pee as if it was trying to come through the skin. Very painful. We both knew that this was probably the end of the three wheeler if my bone was broke.

When we got home I sat down on the couch clutching my arm and trying not to move at all. Dad came in with Mom and told her I had crashed but he was sure my collar bone wasn't broken. I gathered everything I had and told her I was fine. However, nurse Mom decided she should take a look. After she looked at it she politely told us both that it was definitely broken and I would have to go the hospital.

Well ya see, in my family if you have to go to the hospital then that means you must first take a shower! So, after my shower we went to the hospital. My collar bone was broken and was definitely about to break the skin. The doctor said it would be ok and proceeded to put a brace that resembled a bra on me. When he tightened the dang thing up it made my chest poke out like a screwed up chicken. Mom decided to let us keep the three wheel and the day after I got my brace off I proceeded to break my wrist. But that's a different story all together!!