Mako's Greatest Day!

Mako was the name of my dad's dog. He was a thick Bull Terrier breed. If you don't know the kind of dog just think Spuds Mckenzie, cept black with white spots. He was like a tank and solid muscle. A bit crazy when he was young, to say the least, but a very good dog. He cost a lot of money and paid us back two fold with some of the crazy stuff he did. Just a good tempered all around pooch. That is why my parents decided to breed him and make some money!

Well, Mom and Dad got a call from a lady that was very interested in using Mako for stud service. They sent her pictures so she could see his markings and she decided she wanted to do it. The next Saturday she came to the house. One of my crazy aunts was also visiting us at the time. I waited with anticipation to see what the ladies dog was goin to look like. Her and my parents reached an agreement and the lady walked to her car. When she returned she had her dog on the leash. She was a pretty female and was all white. The lady also had in her hand a ziploc bag that had another ziploc and what appeared to be some sort of small tube.

Much to our amazement the lady got Mako and took him around to the other side of the barn. She didn't take the female dog with her. It took a few for us to figure out what she was goin to do. Oh my goodness! Lets just say this lady had taken this step of the breeding process in her hand! My aunt kept askin my Mom and Dad what she was doin around there. We were laughin at the thought of it and my aunt askin questions didn't help matters at all.

The lady returned from around the barn. Mako was following her and panting as if he had ran a marathon. When the lady got close we noticed that she had a ziploc bag tucked under her arm pit. She was also in quite a hurry. She asked Dad if he could help hold the female dog still and he said he would. So, as he was holdin the dog the lady took out the tube thing and filled it with the specimen she had collected from dads dog. She then took the tube and inserted it into the female dogs you know what. Then (this is the kicker) she proceeded to put her mouth on the other end and blow the specimen home to its targeted area!!! I can tell you that we all were a damn fine sight to see at that moment. My aunts face was worth a million dollars. She kept sayin "Oh my!! ewwwe, gross!" The lady then told us that this is the best way she knew of to make sure the breeding process would take. I can tell you this, I never would have a need for a puppy that bad! However, she did make a friend for life out of Mako!!!

Biloxi trip!

My oldest cousin from Miami came along with us on a trip to Biloxi Mississippi. He was one of the large group of my crazy kinfolk we had goin. I knew this trip would be a blast. There's just no way to get all my family together and not have a great time.

Once we arrive at the airport I find out that my cousin has never flown. He also let me know he was quite nervous about it too. Not the best info to share with my family. Not that I told anyone but the word somehow got around. Well once my Dad found out it was on in a big way.

We get to the gate and are waiting to board the plane. Me and my cousin are looking out the window admiring the plane and all the work they were doin to ready it. My Dad walks over, looks at the plane and says "What the hell is that drippin out of the plane!" He also states "I'm not gettin on that bird til they tell me what the heck that is!" He then walked off. I looked at my cousin and his facial expression took a turn for the worse. About to burst into laughter I told him I was sure they would check it out.

We boarded the plane and took our seats. My cousin was sitting directly across from me and my Dad was right behind him. Not good! Every little noise the plane made my Dad would whisper loudly to my Mom "What was that?" My cousin could hear every word and was getting more pale looking with every statement.

Finally, they began to push the plane back with the push truck. Low and behold the dang push pole thingy on the truck broke with a loud boom. It shook the plane a bit and we come to a halt. I thought at that very moment they were either gonna have to restrain my cousin, let him off the plane or he was just gonna have a heart attack and die right there. He was a bit freaked out to say the least. Dad started to say something about the noise when Mom interrupted him and said "Damn it, you better stop before you kill him!" We all began to laugh at the top of our lungs. Even the stewardess was laughin. My cousin didn't quite see the humor in it and decided to order his first beer of many.

By the time we left the ground I think he might have been about done with a six pack. By the time the plane leveled out he was feelin pretty good! He wasn't pale no more and began to cut the fool with everyone. He had us all in stitches!! What a great trip!

Grandma's Slip and Fall!!

My Grandmother came to live with us when I was still in grade school. This worked out real well for me because I could come straight home after school. She was also laid back and easy going and I got along great with her. Later on she got to where she didn't walk real good so we would basically take care of each other. I would stay inside with her until Mom got home. We would watch T.V. or she would crochet while I found something to do. It was kinda tuff being a teenager at the time but it was my duty to take care of her and she deserved my best. I mean, hell, she took care of my ornery butt for years!

So one day we were at the house and Grandma decided she would take her usual shower before Mom got home. I told that was cool with me and to just holler if she needed anything. I grabbed me a snack, kicked back on the couch for some of my T.V. time. I was sitting there minding my business, munchin away, when suddenly it happened. First I heard a terrible whoooooo sound that was loud and clear. Imediately following the siren sound I hear this loud thud, clang, clang....sounded like someone dropped a giant bag of taters on a tin roof. I knew exactly what the noise was. No Way This Just Happened!! I ran to the bathroom and yelled to Grandma "Are you O.K?" She sounded as if she was crying when she responded with "Yea I'm alright!" Whew!! Thank Goodness!! I was relieved and just fixing to walk away from the bathroom when she said those awful words "I can't get up, can you come help me?" Oh Lordy!! Well I knew how I took a shower and was pretty darn sure she was naked. This was not a sight I really wanted to put my eyes on. I asked her was she sure and she said yes. What could I do. I swallowed my pride and entered the bathroom. I tried to keep from looking as I got a towel for her to cover up with. She covered herself the best she could. I realized then that she wasn't crying. She was laughing and said "Ain't this a fine mess I've gotten us into!" I grabbed her by her hand and tried to tug her to her feet. This was not an easy task as she outweighed me by about double. I got her turned around with her feet out of the tub and with one quick pull I got her to her feet. Just my luck she didn't have the towel wrapped good and down it went. Well, being a young man at the time it was always fun to see some boobies. However, I can surely attest that Grandma's weren't made for a young mans eyes!! I turned my head as fast as I could and she almost knocked me down tryin to get the towel back up. We began to laugh til we both bout peed ourselves. I will never forget my Grandma! She was special for sure! just wait, there's plenty of Grandma stories to come!!!! Love Ya Grandma!!

The Fire??

This story is from just a couple years ago. I told ya I'd write em as they come to me didn't I? As you should be able to figure out by now, the ole brain power doesn't usually work on command.

Anyway, me and my lovely wife had finally gotten the final paper work done up on our new house. We purchased her grandmothers how because she wanted us to have it and it is by far more of a house than I ever would've hoped for. It's definitely a beauty! So, after getting all moved in and living there for a few weeks things seemed to be back to normal. We were finally back to our usual routine and living in our dream house.

Wednesday had been my bowling night for the past few years. It was always a treat cause it was just me and the guys. It was always good to see them and the competition was always fun. One night just after I had started bowling my phone rang. It was my wife and I figured something must be wrong cause she never calls on bowling night. When I answered I could tell she was in a panic by the tone of her voice. She told me she didn't know what to do but she smelled wires burning and it was very strong in the garage and bathroom. She couldn't see any flames yet. Figuring she was probably jumping to conclusions I told her I would be there in a few. I told my buddies I had to run. Jumped in my truck and headed for the house. The longer I drove the more I thought about the fact that our dream house could be on fire. I had the truck goin ninety to nothin and got to the house in record time. My wife met me at the door and showed me where she was smelling it. Sure as the world when I entered the bathroom I could smell wires burning and it was strong. I knew something was wrong now. I ran to the garage and smelled it there too. Opening the stairs to the attic I figured I would see fire. When I opened it I seen smoke and could smell it but there was no flames yet. Still I wasn't sure it was bad enough to call the fire department though. Climbing back down from the attic I told my wife it looks ok and not to worry. Quickly I began to search for a flashlight so I could pinpoint the wires in the attic and stop them from melting. Just my luck there wasn't a working flashlight in the house. This is where it gets fun.

Remembering that I had left a flashlight in the barn, I told my wife to wait and let me run get it. Scrambling out the back door I could smell it even stronger. I ran out of our screen porch towards the barn when I decided to look back at the house. Right beside the porch is the kitchen and just above the kitchen window smoke was bellowing out of the roof overhang like crazy. Holy crap!! As I headed back to the house I started yelling to my wife to call nine one one. She did and the fire department was sent out. My wife started crying and I was like a chicken with my head cut off. No way was I gonna let all my stuff burn in this house. I went and turned off the breaker box. The house was now pitch black and you could see smoke rising from it when you stood in the front yard. Already I had come to the conclusion that as soon as I seen flames I was going to start grabbing our stuff and throwing it through the windows. I figured I could probably come close to getting it all out if needed. Right about then the fire department showed up with two great big trucks and a dozen men with oxygen tanks, masks, and the whole get up. They were armed for war and it was gonna be bad.

The firemen swarmed the house like crazed wolves lookin for a snack. I just knew if the hoses came on all our stuff would be ruined for sure. The Captain asked me to show him where I saw the smoke. As I led him to the backyard he said he could smell it too. When he seen the smoke coming from overhang he yelled something on his radio and went back in to the kitchen. When we got to the kitchen another fireman came in and the Captain told him to make some access holes in the ceiling and walls of the kitchen. I was definitely freaking out now! I pleaded to the captain to check the attic again before ripping up the kitchen and he reluctantly said ok. Another fireman came in and asked me and the Captain to show him the smoke. As they followed me onto the screen porch the fireman said "I found the fire!" Not laughing a bit I told him "I don't think that was much funny!" He pointed his flashlight at an old plastic flower pot that was on the porch in the corner by the kitchen. It was full of peat moss and my wife would put her cigarettes out in it. However, this time it didn't go out! The pot was burning inside without any flames. It was making a ton of smoke from the peat as well as the melting plastic. The thick smoke was traveling up the dark wall out of the porch and under the overhang in front of the kitchen window. I felt about two inches tall and apologized as I began my apologies. He told me he was happy with the turn out especially how it looked to begin with. We came out of the house to the crowd that had gathered in the front yard. We were laughing about it and my crying wife couldn't understand why. She was still crying and getting more pissed as I tried to stop laughing to explain it to her. Finally, she realized the house wasn't goin to burn down and was relieved. She hugged my neck and said "Thank God!" The Captain then asked her "Ma,am, could you please get yourself some more ashtrays!"

One Of My Crazy Cousin Stories!

Both my Mom and Dad's families are of the large variety. So, growin up I had a bunch of dad gum cousins. Just about every one of my cousins were bout half nuts. When we all got together there was no tellin what we would get into. As you can probably guess I have many stories about my family get togethers. Reckon I might as well share one with ya.

Out of all my cousins there was one that kept us laughin most all of the time. He was about the same age as me. He came from a family of three brothers in which he was the youngest. I'm pretty sure that might have helped get him used to being picked on. His two older brothers never cut that sucker any slack. That's just the way he liked it though!
Anyways, Their family wasn't from the country at all. They came from a very big city and were a bit unsteady with the country ways. Some weekends they would drive up and visit for the weekend. It was something I always looked forward to because you always knew it would be a fun time.

Being from the city i'm sure was a big difference. Ya see in the big city where they lived it never really was dark. Nor where there as many animals runnin around. I'm pretty sure the change of environment is what they liked the most.

One time my cousin came to stay with us a whole week. I knew I had better watch my p's and q's while he was there because trouble seemed to hunt the both of us. Since he was stayin a week he had to share my chores with me just like he was livin there. This was fine with me because I was old enough to know I was allergic to work. One night we had been getting on each others nerves quite a bit. He had been jackin with me that afternoon and I was set for revenge. After dinner I realized he had forgot to feed the dog we had outside. I told him he had to do it but he said he would do it the next day. Somehow it came up in conversation with me and Mom. You know I wasn't trying to tell on him. Yea right. Sucker! Well after Mom told him in a nice Mom like manner to get it done he decided the dog probably needed to eat.

The best part was that the dogs house was out back under an oak tree a pretty good ways from the house. It was very dark out there and I knew he was unsteady about the dark. He got the bag of dog food and headed out the back door. He looked around then headed for the dog house slow but steady. Once he reached the dogs dish he began to pour the dog food while checking his surroundings the whole time. He finished pouring the bowl full looked around then bolted for the house. He was steppin and fetchin like a cat in a dog kennel. Just as he got about half way back to the house I decided the time was right. I quickly locked the sliding glass door then stood there in anticipation. Once he reached the back door you could see the fear in his eyes. I wish I would've had a camera when he realized the back door was locked. He was in a panic. When he looked at me I looked behind him and acted like something was there. Just about that time is when I realized Mom was watching too. For some reason she didn't see as much humor in it as I did. She told me to unlock the door in a tone I was all too familiar with. I unlocked it and he came bustin in the house. He was pissed to say the least. Mom made me apologize so I did. He knew there was no reason for an apology because you could already see him plotting his revenge!!

The Bicycle Stories #2

Somewhere along my childhood days my Dad and Mom decided to dig a big pond next to our house. I was stoked! This would give me a place to fish all the time. I loved it! The bonus was after they dug it I found some new hills around it to jump on my bike. The dirt they took out of the pond was kind of an orange gray color and pretty dang hard. This made it great to get speed up on.
One day me and a bunch of my neighborhood buddies were gettin our jump on out by the pond. We were taking turns seeing how far we could jump and having a blast. Wait a minute, before go any further let me back up a bit. About two weeks prior to this day I bent my forks on the front of my bike. For those without bicycle knowledge the forks hold the front wheel on. After bending my front forks I had to find some replacements. It just so happened a buddy had a pair he wasn't using and sold them to me for five bucks. I rolled over to his house and we installed them and they worked perfectly.
This brings me back to the present time in our story. As you can tell by now I'm quite a competitive person. So as I mentioned before we were taking turns jumping a hill by the pond and seeing who could go the furthest and highest. Well, one of my buddies with not real good sense came flyin down by the pond and launched off the ramp. He flew what seemed forever and passed every ones marks up. I didn't let him know but I was quite impressed. However, not to be outdone I told everyone "That's nothin, Ya'll watch this!!" I got as far back as I could and built speed all the way to the jump. When I hit the dirt hill I was really movin. All at once I hit the ramp, lifted and sailed through the air. I could tell it was over for him as I was definitely gonna break his record. I crossed the bars for a little showmanship and then un crossed them for my landing. Ok, this is where it gets a bit confusing. All I can tell you after this is what I was told happened from my Mom. She told me she was in the kitchen when she heard all my buddies outside start yelling for her. When she went out the back door there were a couple of them there telling her in a panic that I had crashed my bike and was dead. Just about that time the rest of my buddies came around the house carrying my lifeless body. Thankfully I wasn't dead but just unconscious! Mom sat me up in a chair on the back porch and began wiping my head with a cold damp cloth. Suddenly everything was white and I began to see outlines of what I was sure was an angel. As things cleared up I was weirded out a bit at the sight of Mom but very happy to see her. My cheek bone was scraped pretty bad along with my collar bone. My eyebrow was about scraped off and the skin under my eye was a road rash shiner. Seemed the hard clay broke my fell pretty good!!
This brings us to another twist in the story. Ya see, I just couldn't for the life of me figure out what went wrong. However, as I investigated the crash site I noticed the front forks had broke on my bike. I couldn't believe it. After further inspection I noticed the forks looked like they had been welded back together. That's when two of my buddies decided to let the cat out of the bag and tell me they had welded them back together. Although neither were experienced welders and the forks weren't made of steel they figured surely it would be ok. Nothin like being a guinea pig! Oh, by the way, I did break his record!!

Mom's Hidden Extra Powers!!

Ever wonder where your mom gets the extra powers that they seem to have. You know what I mean, like being able to foresee the future. Like telling you to stop or your gonna hurt yourself and minutes later you go crying in the house cause you got hurt. For some reason moms have a sixth sense it seems. They simply have abilities that men and children don't have. I'm not exactly sure why this is but it can work to your advantage and disadvantage. For instance, One time me and my mom were in the living room watching t.v. Mom told me to go to the pantry and get something for her, I'm pretty sure it was peanut butter. So I take off to the kitchen and open the pantry but there's not any peanut butter. I go back to the living room and tell her there's not any. Mom tells me that she just bought some the other day and its in there I just didn't look good. So, I return to the pantry and look again. Still finding nothing I return to her to give her the bad news. This time she tells me in a whole new tone of voice that it is in the pantry on the second shelf and that she put it there when she bought it the other day. Now being frightened for my livelihood I go back and look all through the second shelf moving everything as i go. Still nothing. Now I know I have her caught in her own little trap. I bounce my way back into the living room. I can hardly wait to tell her she is wrong and I got her at her own game. This time she tells me to not make her have to go get it herself cause I wont be happy with the outcome. I told her sorry bout her luck but there wasn't any peanut butter!! Mom proceeds to get up and head to the kitchen. I follow her so I can see her face when she realizes shes wrong. We get to the pantry and she slings the door open then simply reaches in and gets the peanut butter that is sitting right on the edge of the second shelf. In my head I quickly ask God for his forgiveness as to whatever I may have done to deserve this. I've realized since then that I don't need to ask God for forgiveness because Ive come to the conclusion that he has a sense of humor and likes for me to make him laugh. At this time Mom gives me a look that made the hair stand up on my neck. She didn't say a word, she didn't have to. To this day this kinda stuff still happens to me on a regular basis. I think it actually made us bond a little more. Also, I now have a daughter of my own and can actually do the same look quite well myself!!!

Dads Great Idea!

We usually once a year took a vacation to the mountains of North Carolina. It was an inexpensive vacation for us and a way to break away from our normal lives. If you've never driven in the mountains I'll tell you theres not much of a better view anywhere. However, if you drive in the steepest part of the smokeys the roads get a little crazy. If your driving at night it gets a bit on the spooky side.
So, we have finally made it to the mountains and its the middle of the night and raining. When I say its raining I mean its coming down by the buckets. With the clouds down on the mountain and the rain pouring you could barely see where you were going. The road had us all scared to death with all of its winding and twisting. On one side it was straight up the mountain and on the other it was straight down into the darkness. We would drive what seemed to be almost straight up. Then once we crested the hill we would start back down till we came to a sharp turn almost u-shaped. My dad was driving with grandma in the front seat. Me and mom were sitting in the back. You could have heard a pin drop on the carpet inside the car. We were all scared out of our wits and saying prayers to ourselves. Just as we crested another hill we begin to pick up a bit of speed. Heading straight down you could see a seriously sharp curve coming up quickly. You could also see the unbelievable drop off on the other side. As we neared the curve we all began to tense up. This seemed like the perfect time (for some reason) for dad to start slamming his foot against the floor board with a loud bang, bang, bang. He quickly exclaimed "Oh lord we don't have any brakes!" Mom quickly slapped me across the chest and planted me to the backseat in an attempt I think to save my life (older answer to car seats). I'm sure i pee'd myself a little in fear of my upcoming death. Grandma I'm pretty sure had a mild heart attack! Dad then applied the brake and slowed way down for the curve. He started laughing at the top of his lungs and was sure he had made a brilliant joke to lighten the mood of everyone. He was wrong!! Just as soon as we figured out he had lied and we weren't going to die the three of us turned on him like a rabid coon in a chicken coup. For the next three hours Dad got to hear about how bad of an idea he had come up with. Mom pretty much told him everything she thought was basically wrong with his plan. It almost seemed to take the scare out of the ride all together. To this day, however, I'm pretty sure if Dad had it all to do over again he would. Cause it was dang funny after a while and makes a great story!!!

Wasp, Hornets, Yellow Jackets Or Whatever You Call Them!!

One fine day in my younger life a buddy and myself decided to venture in the woods near my house. We would play in them woods every day just about. It was about fifty acres i guess with large pines and lots of underbrush we made trails through. So this day, oh this day was special. This would be the day that i find out these yellow jacket, for lack of knowledge, can actually make a nest in the ground. You see, we found ourselves bored and wondering under the giant pines when suddenly a black snake came out of nowhere. Me being the adventurer i am decided it would be a great idea for me to catch him. I gave chase and he slithered away under the pine needles. I began to swipe my foot to move the needles around to flush him out. All of a sudden it seemed to get a bit darker and begin to seem like it was raining. It only took one sting on my leg for me to realize there were yellow jackets swarming all over the place. There must have been a kazillion of em. They did not seem to be very happy with me and turned on me like a pitbull on a pig! What do you do when your attacked by a massive swarm of yellow jackets? I did the exact same tactic i did for most bad moments of my life. I ran like hell!! Heck, i passed my buddy like he was sitting still. We didn't have a stopwatch but i can tell ya i had to do a couple hundred yards in like three seconds flat. Also, if your ever running for your life don't forget to scream like a little school girl. Meanwhile, mom seemed to understand screams of agony and met me in the front yard. She proceeded to slam me to the ground and start tearing my clothes off like i was on fire. When she got my pants off by jerking them inside out you could actually see hundreds of stingers working in and out. After i was unclothed down to just my undies we proceeded inside where mom administered first aid. After it was all said and done i was stung well over sixty times from the waste down. It hurt like hell but seemed to feel better after the pain stopped. The part that made me stop crying in pain was when dad decided to turn one of my socks mom had snatched off back rightside out. When he turned the sock outright he unleashed one last pissed off yellow jacket that proceeded to sting him on his neck!!

My Momma and Her Gun!!

As i got older i remember us having a few shotguns that me and dad used for turkey shoots and target shooting. To this day there is just something fun about shooting a shotgun at a clay pigeon. Not to toot my own horn but I'm a pretty good shot. My mom was never into the shotguns that i remember much. She did, however, own a small revolver that i believe was my grandpas police gun. I never seen her shoot it but she always said she could. I let her tell me that and then i would just nod and smile while thinking "sure you can." Well one day i was out by our pond doing a bit of fishing when i seen a really small water moccasin swimming about ten feet off the bank. This always excited me cause it give me an excuse to shoot the shotgun. I ran as fast as i could back to the house. As i burst through the back door mom said "whats wrong?" and i replied "there's a snake in the pond i gotta shoot!!" I grabbed the shotgun and loaded it as i was headed to the back door. Just then mom turned the corner, with her little pistol in hand, right in front of me and out the back door. We get to the pond and she asked me where the snake was so she could shoot it. Trying not to bust a gut i pointed to the snake and told her to give it a whirl. As i was laughing she raised her pistol, gave aim and squeezed off a round. This is when i began to not be able to hold myself and started laughing so hard i could hardly see from the tears in my eyes. Suddenly mom says "there ya go, one dead snake." It took a sec or two for my brain to actually comprehend what i had hear. I wiped the tears from my eyes and gazed into the water. There about ten feet from the bank was the snake..........his head was about six inches from his body!! I suddenly began to choke to the taste of shoe leather i had going on in my mouth. Who would ever knew that my mom was just like a real life Wyatt Earp!!

BB Gun!!

My loving mother and father decided to let me have a bb gun when i was younger if i promised to be careful with it and not shoot any animals i didnt plan on eating. This worked out great for me so i had no problem making the promise. Little did i know at the time that setting up targets over and over again would get old real quick. So i set out a huntin stuff i would eat if i killed, however, most things wouldnt sit still long enough so i figured draggonflies didnt really count. After a very long day of hunting and probably ten thousand or so bb's later i headed in for the night. Three or four days go by and my mom realizes our outside light on the utility pole has went out and calls the electric company to come fix it. The next day the guy (stool pidgeon) shows up to fix it. He is super nice to mom and told her she probably wouldnt have to pay for it since it just failed. Well, then the very nice jerk decides to come to the door and tell me and mom he believes he has found the problem. He then proceeds to pull from behind his back the old light bulb. Holding it up right in front of our faces he then shakes it and it makes a great little rattling sound. Then good ole "stooly" turns it over in moms hand and dumps a couple of bb's out of it. After that day i decided that bb guns were dangerous and i should probably let mom keep it. Plus my toe still hurt from putting the barrel on it and pulling the trigger to see if it would hurt. It did!!

Mini Monsters That Im Sure Could Kill Me

As you can probably tell by now I'm no city boy. So as far as most things go I'm not scared of much. I have caught caught snakes, rats, turtles, birds and many other animals with my bare hands just to see what they look and feel like...including many alligators! This being said, you can see how hard it must be for me to admit I'm afraid of something. Well let me tell you, these creatures are huge and I'm pretty sure they are out to get me. have you ever seen a "killer" Cuban tree frog before? Oh yea, these guys are vicious lookin and have little beady eyes. They also can jump pretty much a mile (best i can figure). They look alot like them little cute green frogs ya see around most doors and window. however, these guys came to the house in gangs. They come in many shapes and sizes from small to gigantic. The colors they have seem to change from dark to almost a very ugly white. Making there selves scarce during the day and attacking during the dark seems to be there forte. Just last night a medium size one had me in his clutches as i entered the front door. Luckily for me he could not quite stay in step with me while i was bringing back some very nice breakdance moves. he hit the tile floor and i headed for the back door. i then realized he wasn't on me anymore and i was gonna have to come up with some kinda plan to get him back outside. I signaled our jack Russell to fetch him and carry him outside. It seems that jack russells are scared of them too! I eased over and opened the door wide, then, made my move quick without haste. Like a field goal kicker for the nfl the frog was up and good, straight out the door!! I have many other stories of these things trying to get me. I even have a mammoth of one living in a birdhouse by my front door. He don't mess with me and i don't mess with him!! Ill share more frog stories as they unfold. Any suggestions you might have about these things would be of much value. oh, make sure you look out at night, ye be warned!!!!

funny little story from my past

Well, this probably isn't the first one but it was the first to come to mind so i figured it would be a good one to start with (seeing how i don't have any readers yet..lol)
When i was just a little tyke i couldn't wait to get a mini bike. however, my mom always said they were dangerous and i would probably get hurt on it. Years past and i still wanted one more than anything. Good ole mom finally come to the rescue and hooked me up! of course our finances were not the greatest back then (to this day i still don't know how my parents got me everything i wanted) so it was used. Being used made no difference to me at all as it was the most awesome thing in the world at that time. When dad got it out of the truck my mom quickly chimed in with "it looks dangerous to me" however, my dad quickly came back with "its not dangerous at all, here let me show you." Now i was young see, but i still new exactly what was coming and it probably wasn't gonna be good. Dad jumps on it, cranks it up and takes off down our dirt road. The dirt road we lived on had dirt ruts cut in the grass from car tires about six inches deep. I'm pretty sure the tires on the bike were about four inches. so, here comes dad flying back down the dirt road towards us like a bullet. I was stoked. unfortunately for me (and dad) just about the time he got to where we were the tire hit the side of the rut in the road and crossed the steering wheel up. dad (bless his heart) exits the mini bike and flies by us like superman with a clipped wing. He hits the ditch with a big ole thud and then jumps to his feet and says "im ok!" my mom who has quite the sense of humor too, replies "yep, looks perfectly safe to me!"