My Momma and Her Gun!!

As i got older i remember us having a few shotguns that me and dad used for turkey shoots and target shooting. To this day there is just something fun about shooting a shotgun at a clay pigeon. Not to toot my own horn but I'm a pretty good shot. My mom was never into the shotguns that i remember much. She did, however, own a small revolver that i believe was my grandpas police gun. I never seen her shoot it but she always said she could. I let her tell me that and then i would just nod and smile while thinking "sure you can." Well one day i was out by our pond doing a bit of fishing when i seen a really small water moccasin swimming about ten feet off the bank. This always excited me cause it give me an excuse to shoot the shotgun. I ran as fast as i could back to the house. As i burst through the back door mom said "whats wrong?" and i replied "there's a snake in the pond i gotta shoot!!" I grabbed the shotgun and loaded it as i was headed to the back door. Just then mom turned the corner, with her little pistol in hand, right in front of me and out the back door. We get to the pond and she asked me where the snake was so she could shoot it. Trying not to bust a gut i pointed to the snake and told her to give it a whirl. As i was laughing she raised her pistol, gave aim and squeezed off a round. This is when i began to not be able to hold myself and started laughing so hard i could hardly see from the tears in my eyes. Suddenly mom says "there ya go, one dead snake." It took a sec or two for my brain to actually comprehend what i had hear. I wiped the tears from my eyes and gazed into the water. There about ten feet from the bank was the snake..........his head was about six inches from his body!! I suddenly began to choke to the taste of shoe leather i had going on in my mouth. Who would ever knew that my mom was just like a real life Wyatt Earp!!

BB Gun!!

My loving mother and father decided to let me have a bb gun when i was younger if i promised to be careful with it and not shoot any animals i didnt plan on eating. This worked out great for me so i had no problem making the promise. Little did i know at the time that setting up targets over and over again would get old real quick. So i set out a huntin stuff i would eat if i killed, however, most things wouldnt sit still long enough so i figured draggonflies didnt really count. After a very long day of hunting and probably ten thousand or so bb's later i headed in for the night. Three or four days go by and my mom realizes our outside light on the utility pole has went out and calls the electric company to come fix it. The next day the guy (stool pidgeon) shows up to fix it. He is super nice to mom and told her she probably wouldnt have to pay for it since it just failed. Well, then the very nice jerk decides to come to the door and tell me and mom he believes he has found the problem. He then proceeds to pull from behind his back the old light bulb. Holding it up right in front of our faces he then shakes it and it makes a great little rattling sound. Then good ole "stooly" turns it over in moms hand and dumps a couple of bb's out of it. After that day i decided that bb guns were dangerous and i should probably let mom keep it. Plus my toe still hurt from putting the barrel on it and pulling the trigger to see if it would hurt. It did!!

The Ring

Sometimes there are things that happen in our lives that we can find no explanation for. One of these things happend to me last night while i was playing softball. You see, last year my dad got into a fight with a table saw and lost a digit and some use of the others on his left hand. The blade actually grabbed his wedding ring and snatched his finger off. anyways, thats another story all together, he decided to not wear rings anymore and entrusted me with his retirement ring from the state of florida. I felt this to be one of the coolest things he has ever given me and held it dear to me. However, last year i went to play softball at our local field. Being afraid i would throw the ring off my finger i opted to take it off while i played. This went well for a couple of games. I would take it off and hang it on my cell phone antenna then put it back on when i was done. About our third game of the season we had just finished up and i went to put my ring back on and discovered it was missing. A little boy there said he had seen it on the ground and put it back in a bag. Everyone searched there bags and i searched mine three or four times. I also searched the fields and parking lot to no avail. I was sure someone found it and kept it. Last night i went to play ball in a town near me with a bunch of guys i dont really know. It was our second game of the season and i went to put my glove on top of my bag like always. I hang my bag on the fence and it has an opening on top for bats and one in the middle for your glove and other stuff. Right at the time i put my glove on the bag something hit the ground. You guessed it, it was the ring. There are no holes or pockets in the bottom of my bag at all. How did it fall out?? I have absolutely no idea where it came from. I am just glad someone or something must have been looking out for me!!!

Mini Monsters That Im Sure Could Kill Me

As you can probably tell by now I'm no city boy. So as far as most things go I'm not scared of much. I have caught caught snakes, rats, turtles, birds and many other animals with my bare hands just to see what they look and feel like...including many alligators! This being said, you can see how hard it must be for me to admit I'm afraid of something. Well let me tell you, these creatures are huge and I'm pretty sure they are out to get me. have you ever seen a "killer" Cuban tree frog before? Oh yea, these guys are vicious lookin and have little beady eyes. They also can jump pretty much a mile (best i can figure). They look alot like them little cute green frogs ya see around most doors and window. however, these guys came to the house in gangs. They come in many shapes and sizes from small to gigantic. The colors they have seem to change from dark to almost a very ugly white. Making there selves scarce during the day and attacking during the dark seems to be there forte. Just last night a medium size one had me in his clutches as i entered the front door. Luckily for me he could not quite stay in step with me while i was bringing back some very nice breakdance moves. he hit the tile floor and i headed for the back door. i then realized he wasn't on me anymore and i was gonna have to come up with some kinda plan to get him back outside. I signaled our jack Russell to fetch him and carry him outside. It seems that jack russells are scared of them too! I eased over and opened the door wide, then, made my move quick without haste. Like a field goal kicker for the nfl the frog was up and good, straight out the door!! I have many other stories of these things trying to get me. I even have a mammoth of one living in a birdhouse by my front door. He don't mess with me and i don't mess with him!! Ill share more frog stories as they unfold. Any suggestions you might have about these things would be of much value. oh, make sure you look out at night, ye be warned!!!!