The Mailbox Bandits

Later on in my teens I seemed to find way to have fun with my buddies that probably were not the best things to do. Don't get me wrong, we never did drugs or got arrested for anything. It was just when we did do something a bit on the edge getting caught was never on my mind. That's why i just about always got caught.

When i was younger I always thought how cool it was when my dad could throw a Pepsi bottle out the drivers window, all the way across the hood and hit a road sign dead on. So when I became old enough to drive it just came natural to me I guess. Now don't let me pass the blame to Pops at all. I knew exactly how bad it was and what the hell could happen to me. The only problem I had was bottles were just too easy.

One night my buddies, cousin and me were out lookin for somethin to do. We were so bored and with a bad case of small town blues. As we were riding around I finished a soda off and quickly decided to show off my skills. I threw the bottle across the car and nailed the sign. All my buddies were greatly impressed and we all decided at that moment we had found something to do. We began to search for bottles and with not much luck one of my buddies exclaimed "my Dad's got a bunch of watermelons at my house!" That was a no brainer to the rest of us so off to his house we went. Now, it just so happens that his house was just down the street from my house. We began to stuff my little Ford Escort with as many watermelons as we could with the four of us in the car. We didn't go far before we decided to try one out on an old mailbox. With the car speeding down the road I eased over close and my buddy tossed one out the window. WHAM!! The watermelon had taken the whole damn mailbox off its post. We were in awe to say the least.

I think we had hit maybe one other box and missed quite a few when we came up on a four boxes all in a row. They were on the left side of the road so I eased over to that side and hurled my melon out the window. A loud bang was heard and cheers roared through the car. We decided that it was regroup time and probably would be best to get out of our own neighborhood. We stopped on a short dirt road down from the house and picked up another one of my friend who was riding with someone else. He had decided he would like to go with us on our venture. He had no idea what was fixin to take place.

After he loaded up we headed out and decided to take the back way to a different town. As we drove down the road we had to pass the dirt road that led to my house. As we approached it we began to make out a couple of people standin by a parked truck at the end of the road. Once we got close enough to see who it was I realized it was my Mom and A man I knew from her office. I slowed down and Mom jumped in front of the car and pointed to the house in a way I will never forget. Not a word was spoken but I knew exactly what she was sayin. As we passed them and headed for the house I could overhear them talking about weather or not the man was gonna whoop my ass or not. My cousin broke the silence of the car by saying he didn't think she was too mad since she didn't say anything. I told him he was wrong, dead wrong and we were probably fixin to witness my last day on our wonderful planet.

We sat inside the livin room like criminals waitin a trial. When Mom hit the door she busted in like gangbusters. She was on my like bees on honey. She would ask me a question and I would just say I don't know. She informed me that the man was actually her best client from work and that I would be fixin his mailbox along with the rest of them. Dad was sitting there quiet as normal with the most disappointed look on his face and just kept agreeing with Mom. She finally asked me where in the world I would get such a stupid idea. Well, since we had told them nothing of the watermelon and that it was only bottles I said "well dad can hit a sign from the driver side of his truck!" Dad's eyes got big as moons and his face was overtook with shame. Mom said "See this is exactly why you don't do that kinda crap in front of him!" I felt horrible for throwin him under the bus but it did take a few of the bullets from me...lol.

We finally settled in for the night. Dad took my buddies home and they were scared to death the whole ride. I was so glad that Mom never found out that we were throwin watermelons and not bottles. I really think that helped keep me from gettin killed. However, when I awoke the next mornin I was already prepared to go fix the mailboxes. I was not prepared to find Mom and Dad sittin at the supper table with a great big bowl of watermelon that dad had scraped off the side of my car. My heart stopped beating at that moment!!