Friday, January 16, 2009

My Momma and Her Gun!!

As i got older i remember us having a few shotguns that me and dad used for turkey shoots and target shooting. To this day there is just something fun about shooting a shotgun at a clay pigeon. Not to toot my own horn but I'm a pretty good shot. My mom was never into the shotguns that i remember much. She did, however, own a small revolver that i believe was my grandpas police gun. I never seen her shoot it but she always said she could. I let her tell me that and then i would just nod and smile while thinking "sure you can." Well one day i was out by our pond doing a bit of fishing when i seen a really small water moccasin swimming about ten feet off the bank. This always excited me cause it give me an excuse to shoot the shotgun. I ran as fast as i could back to the house. As i burst through the back door mom said "whats wrong?" and i replied "there's a snake in the pond i gotta shoot!!" I grabbed the shotgun and loaded it as i was headed to the back door. Just then mom turned the corner, with her little pistol in hand, right in front of me and out the back door. We get to the pond and she asked me where the snake was so she could shoot it. Trying not to bust a gut i pointed to the snake and told her to give it a whirl. As i was laughing she raised her pistol, gave aim and squeezed off a round. This is when i began to not be able to hold myself and started laughing so hard i could hardly see from the tears in my eyes. Suddenly mom says "there ya go, one dead snake." It took a sec or two for my brain to actually comprehend what i had hear. I wiped the tears from my eyes and gazed into the water. There about ten feet from the bank was the snake..........his head was about six inches from his body!! I suddenly began to choke to the taste of shoe leather i had going on in my mouth. Who would ever knew that my mom was just like a real life Wyatt Earp!!

Thursday, January 15, 2009

BB Gun!!

My loving mother and father decided to let me have a bb gun when i was younger if i promised to be careful with it and not shoot any animals i didnt plan on eating. This worked out great for me so i had no problem making the promise. Little did i know at the time that setting up targets over and over again would get old real quick. So i set out a huntin stuff i would eat if i killed, however, most things wouldnt sit still long enough so i figured draggonflies didnt really count. After a very long day of hunting and probably ten thousand or so bb's later i headed in for the night. Three or four days go by and my mom realizes our outside light on the utility pole has went out and calls the electric company to come fix it. The next day the guy (stool pidgeon) shows up to fix it. He is super nice to mom and told her she probably wouldnt have to pay for it since it just failed. Well, then the very nice jerk decides to come to the door and tell me and mom he believes he has found the problem. He then proceeds to pull from behind his back the old light bulb. Holding it up right in front of our faces he then shakes it and it makes a great little rattling sound. Then good ole "stooly" turns it over in moms hand and dumps a couple of bb's out of it. After that day i decided that bb guns were dangerous and i should probably let mom keep it. Plus my toe still hurt from putting the barrel on it and pulling the trigger to see if it would hurt. It did!!

The Ring

Sometimes there are things that happen in our lives that we can find no explanation for. One of these things happend to me last night while i was playing softball. You see, last year my dad got into a fight with a table saw and lost a digit and some use of the others on his left hand. The blade actually grabbed his wedding ring and snatched his finger off. anyways, thats another story all together, he decided to not wear rings anymore and entrusted me with his retirement ring from the state of florida. I felt this to be one of the coolest things he has ever given me and held it dear to me. However, last year i went to play softball at our local field. Being afraid i would throw the ring off my finger i opted to take it off while i played. This went well for a couple of games. I would take it off and hang it on my cell phone antenna then put it back on when i was done. About our third game of the season we had just finished up and i went to put my ring back on and discovered it was missing. A little boy there said he had seen it on the ground and put it back in a bag. Everyone searched there bags and i searched mine three or four times. I also searched the fields and parking lot to no avail. I was sure someone found it and kept it. Last night i went to play ball in a town near me with a bunch of guys i dont really know. It was our second game of the season and i went to put my glove on top of my bag like always. I hang my bag on the fence and it has an opening on top for bats and one in the middle for your glove and other stuff. Right at the time i put my glove on the bag something hit the ground. You guessed it, it was the ring. There are no holes or pockets in the bottom of my bag at all. How did it fall out?? I have absolutely no idea where it came from. I am just glad someone or something must have been looking out for me!!!

Wednesday, January 14, 2009

Mini Monsters That Im Sure Could Kill Me

As you can probably tell by now I'm no city boy. So as far as most things go I'm not scared of much. I have caught caught snakes, rats, turtles, birds and many other animals with my bare hands just to see what they look and feel like...including many alligators! This being said, you can see how hard it must be for me to admit I'm afraid of something. Well let me tell you, these creatures are huge and I'm pretty sure they are out to get me. have you ever seen a "killer" Cuban tree frog before? Oh yea, these guys are vicious lookin and have little beady eyes. They also can jump pretty much a mile (best i can figure). They look alot like them little cute green frogs ya see around most doors and window. however, these guys came to the house in gangs. They come in many shapes and sizes from small to gigantic. The colors they have seem to change from dark to almost a very ugly white. Making there selves scarce during the day and attacking during the dark seems to be there forte. Just last night a medium size one had me in his clutches as i entered the front door. Luckily for me he could not quite stay in step with me while i was bringing back some very nice breakdance moves. he hit the tile floor and i headed for the back door. i then realized he wasn't on me anymore and i was gonna have to come up with some kinda plan to get him back outside. I signaled our jack Russell to fetch him and carry him outside. It seems that jack russells are scared of them too! I eased over and opened the door wide, then, made my move quick without haste. Like a field goal kicker for the nfl the frog was up and good, straight out the door!! I have many other stories of these things trying to get me. I even have a mammoth of one living in a birdhouse by my front door. He don't mess with me and i don't mess with him!! Ill share more frog stories as they unfold. Any suggestions you might have about these things would be of much value. oh, make sure you look out at night, ye be warned!!!!

Tuesday, January 13, 2009

funny little story from my past

Well, this probably isn't the first one but it was the first to come to mind so i figured it would be a good one to start with (seeing how i don't have any readers
When i was just a little tyke i couldn't wait to get a mini bike. however, my mom always said they were dangerous and i would probably get hurt on it. Years past and i still wanted one more than anything. Good ole mom finally come to the rescue and hooked me up! of course our finances were not the greatest back then (to this day i still don't know how my parents got me everything i wanted) so it was used. Being used made no difference to me at all as it was the most awesome thing in the world at that time. When dad got it out of the truck my mom quickly chimed in with "it looks dangerous to me" however, my dad quickly came back with "its not dangerous at all, here let me show you." Now i was young see, but i still new exactly what was coming and it probably wasn't gonna be good. Dad jumps on it, cranks it up and takes off down our dirt road. The dirt road we lived on had dirt ruts cut in the grass from car tires about six inches deep. I'm pretty sure the tires on the bike were about four inches. so, here comes dad flying back down the dirt road towards us like a bullet. I was stoked. unfortunately for me (and dad) just about the time he got to where we were the tire hit the side of the rut in the road and crossed the steering wheel up. dad (bless his heart) exits the mini bike and flies by us like superman with a clipped wing. He hits the ditch with a big ole thud and then jumps to his feet and says "im ok!" my mom who has quite the sense of humor too, replies "yep, looks perfectly safe to me!"

Monday, January 12, 2009


welp, just got to work and you can sure tell its monday. i often find my self wondering what is it with monday that makes it so bad. is it just the first day back at work after the weekend. could it be the fact that the weekend has come to an abrupt end. well no matter how you decide it always seems to be a rough day where everything that has gone wrong piles up on you at the time you really dont feel like messing with anything.
this turned out to be a very good weekend for me. friday and saturday i didnt do much cept accidentally rammed my little toe into a railing near my front door while i was walking fast and rubbing my eyes (briliant)! sunday was quite a day. we took the jeep down south to a new mudhole and had an absolute blast!! my best friends jeep decided it was not gonna participate and would never stay running long enough to move. my jeep, however, was running like a champ and me and my wife were rippin up the swamp. by the end of the day we were covered with mud and had a hint of cow poop smell too. not sure what that was all about but it obviously washed off!! at the end of the day my jeep decided it was done and the clutch wouldnt work anymore. looks like i got some mechanicing to do before the next go round!!