Tuesday, February 24, 2009

The Fire??

This story is from just a couple years ago. I told ya I'd write em as they come to me didn't I? As you should be able to figure out by now, the ole brain power doesn't usually work on command.

Anyway, me and my lovely wife had finally gotten the final paper work done up on our new house. We purchased her grandmothers how because she wanted us to have it and it is by far more of a house than I ever would've hoped for. It's definitely a beauty! So, after getting all moved in and living there for a few weeks things seemed to be back to normal. We were finally back to our usual routine and living in our dream house.

Wednesday had been my bowling night for the past few years. It was always a treat cause it was just me and the guys. It was always good to see them and the competition was always fun. One night just after I had started bowling my phone rang. It was my wife and I figured something must be wrong cause she never calls on bowling night. When I answered I could tell she was in a panic by the tone of her voice. She told me she didn't know what to do but she smelled wires burning and it was very strong in the garage and bathroom. She couldn't see any flames yet. Figuring she was probably jumping to conclusions I told her I would be there in a few. I told my buddies I had to run. Jumped in my truck and headed for the house. The longer I drove the more I thought about the fact that our dream house could be on fire. I had the truck goin ninety to nothin and got to the house in record time. My wife met me at the door and showed me where she was smelling it. Sure as the world when I entered the bathroom I could smell wires burning and it was strong. I knew something was wrong now. I ran to the garage and smelled it there too. Opening the stairs to the attic I figured I would see fire. When I opened it I seen smoke and could smell it but there was no flames yet. Still I wasn't sure it was bad enough to call the fire department though. Climbing back down from the attic I told my wife it looks ok and not to worry. Quickly I began to search for a flashlight so I could pinpoint the wires in the attic and stop them from melting. Just my luck there wasn't a working flashlight in the house. This is where it gets fun.

Remembering that I had left a flashlight in the barn, I told my wife to wait and let me run get it. Scrambling out the back door I could smell it even stronger. I ran out of our screen porch towards the barn when I decided to look back at the house. Right beside the porch is the kitchen and just above the kitchen window smoke was bellowing out of the roof overhang like crazy. Holy crap!! As I headed back to the house I started yelling to my wife to call nine one one. She did and the fire department was sent out. My wife started crying and I was like a chicken with my head cut off. No way was I gonna let all my stuff burn in this house. I went and turned off the breaker box. The house was now pitch black and you could see smoke rising from it when you stood in the front yard. Already I had come to the conclusion that as soon as I seen flames I was going to start grabbing our stuff and throwing it through the windows. I figured I could probably come close to getting it all out if needed. Right about then the fire department showed up with two great big trucks and a dozen men with oxygen tanks, masks, and the whole get up. They were armed for war and it was gonna be bad.

The firemen swarmed the house like crazed wolves lookin for a snack. I just knew if the hoses came on all our stuff would be ruined for sure. The Captain asked me to show him where I saw the smoke. As I led him to the backyard he said he could smell it too. When he seen the smoke coming from overhang he yelled something on his radio and went back in to the kitchen. When we got to the kitchen another fireman came in and the Captain told him to make some access holes in the ceiling and walls of the kitchen. I was definitely freaking out now! I pleaded to the captain to check the attic again before ripping up the kitchen and he reluctantly said ok. Another fireman came in and asked me and the Captain to show him the smoke. As they followed me onto the screen porch the fireman said "I found the fire!" Not laughing a bit I told him "I don't think that was much funny!" He pointed his flashlight at an old plastic flower pot that was on the porch in the corner by the kitchen. It was full of peat moss and my wife would put her cigarettes out in it. However, this time it didn't go out! The pot was burning inside without any flames. It was making a ton of smoke from the peat as well as the melting plastic. The thick smoke was traveling up the dark wall out of the porch and under the overhang in front of the kitchen window. I felt about two inches tall and apologized as I began my apologies. He told me he was happy with the turn out especially how it looked to begin with. We came out of the house to the crowd that had gathered in the front yard. We were laughing about it and my crying wife couldn't understand why. She was still crying and getting more pissed as I tried to stop laughing to explain it to her. Finally, she realized the house wasn't goin to burn down and was relieved. She hugged my neck and said "Thank God!" The Captain then asked her "Ma,am, could you please get yourself some more ashtrays!"

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